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Empathy conversations are what designers call short, unstructured interviews, where you try to put yourself in the interviewee’s shoes, rather than maintaining an objective distance. 

Simply talking to people can reveal unique insights about their needs, beliefs, values, experiences, preferences, and motivations. You are trying to get people to tell stories and share emotions.

The conversations can be scheduled in advance (and held online, on the phone, or in-person) or they can be intercept encounters, where you catch people in a public space and ask them if they are willing to speak with you. Intercept encounters can be particularly useful if you want to talk with people about a particular physical space or service as they are using it.

The key to both planned and intercept conversations is to ask questions that evoke stories about people’s experiences. As you talk, try to delve deeper into what they are saying and why. 

A key point is that empathy conversations are not about informing the people you talk with, or promoting your products and services. It’s about listening and capturing. It’s a form of authentic engagement.

Connecting with users is inspiring, and empathy for people can serve as a compass for your team throughout a project. Some important things to remember are:

• Practice truly listening and picking up on comments to dig into further. This is a key difference from structured interviews, which have a pre-determined list of questions. Use your script as a guide only. Feel free to ask follow-up questions and see where they go.
• Test your assumptions and move beyond judgment. Ask yourself if you have any facts or evidence, or if it is based on a guess or intuition.‍
• Assume a beginner’s mindset and be willing to ask questions that you may think you already know the answer to.

Assign roles

Once you have some experience conducting empathy conversations, you may feel comfortable doing them on your own. But to start, try doing the conversations with three people:

• Role 1 - Lead: Does the interview, sets the pace, and asks the questions that guide the conversation. 
• Role 2 - Support lead: Supports the lead questioner by thinking of follow-up questions in case the lead gets stuck and following up on any interesting threads that the lead misses.
• Role 3 - Observer and scribe: Takes copious detailed notes, including any nonverbal cues, such as body language and emotions, especially those that might contradict or elevate any verbal responses.

Dividing roles in this way to start will make sure that you move into the synthesis stage with a wealth of human “data,” and that you don’t miss any important insights.

Building a script

While empathy conversations do not need to adhere to a strict set of questions and may veer in unexpected directions, you should still develop a few questions as a starting point. This will help you begin, especially if you are nervous, and help you stay on track with what you really want to learn more about.

Your script should include no more than 10 open-ended questions, and preferably only 3-4. You might also want to collect some basic demographic information (e.g., gender, nationality, age).

Running the conversation

Start by introducing yourself and the project, including why you want to talk with them. If it is an intercept encounter, be sure to ask if the person is willing to be interviewed first – before you take up too much of their time.  

You might want to have a short information sheet about your research that they can read (or you can read to them). Depending on the nature and subject matter of the conversations, you might also need to have a consent form that explains how your data will be used, confidentiality and any other important aspects of the project that the interviewees need to be aware of and agree to.

Now shift focus to the interviewee. Ask how their day is going and what they’ve been up to. You want to ease them into it. Gradually move into your questions, and ensure you keep to the time you’ve told them you will take.

When it’s time to wrap up, signal that the interview is over, but keep listening! Often people launch into a long, juicy story as they reflect on the interview experience. Be sure you have some sort of koha (gift) to thank them, even if it’s something as simple as a chocolate bar. 

Most importantly, be sure to thank them!

8 tips for effective empathy conversations

1. Encourage stories

The stories people tell reveal how they think about the world. Ask questions that get people talking about their experiences. For example, you might ask an international student: “Tell me about your most difficult experience during your time in Aotearoa”.

2. Ask “why” five times

Even if you think you know the answer, ask people why they do or say things. Sometimes the answers will surprise you. Avoid saying “usually” when asking a question. Instead, ask about a specific instance or occurrence (e.g., “Tell me about the last time you...”)

3. Ask neutral, open-ended questions 

“What do you think about our programme’s orientation?” is a better question than “Don’t you think our orientation is great?” The first question implies there is no right answer. The second one is leading and invites a yes/no answer.

4. Keep the questions short

Try to stick to ten words per question. This helps keep your discussion focused.

5. Ask one question at a time

Resist the urge to ask all of your burning questions at once. Let the interviewee talk.